Technically this one is mine though, so…
(I’m just trying to be funny. Did it work???)
The final challenge question of the 30-Day-Blog-Challenge-that-I-have-failed-so-miserably is: What are your hopes, dreams, and plans for the future?
I honestly try not to think too far into the future. Mostly because my brain no longer has the capacity to process why I walk into any given room in my house at that exact moment, so thinking ahead is a little iffy! I do have some goals that I have broken down into increments, but five years ahead is about as far as I can make myself go.
I haven’t always been this way. When I was about 12, my sister and I made lists (we did bucket lists before bucket lists were cool!) of all the things we wanted to do before we turned 21. I remember that we specifically chose that age because 21 sounded so far away. What can I say, our measurement of time was a little skewed at that point. We did eventually grasp the concept and we went back in our mid-teens and changed the age to 25! Because, you know, 25 is soooo old!!
I couldn’t tell you what all was on my list, but I would like to see it again. As far as I know, I can’t cross off much more than “get married” and “have kids.” I’m not complaining about getting married and having kids, but I am a little sad that I’ve let so many of my childhood dreams slip away.
I do still have dreams and hopes for the future. They are mostly your typical I-want-my-children-to-be-happy-blah-blah-blah sorts of dreams. I shouldn’t make light of that, because I do want my children to be happy. I just think that is the answer you will get from a lot of people. It’s a sort of standardized response that keeps us from having to delve too deep and answer questions that might incite judgment.
I try not to be a Negative Nellie, but I’m no Pollyanna either. Therefore, most of my dreams get pushed to the back of my mind like a forgotten plaything relegated to a dusty corner. Most days I don’t want to take time for introspection, so I just leave them there. But every now and again, I dust them off and play with them!
I could dig deep right now and make you an endless list of the things I want out of life. But I’ll do you a favor and save that for my memoirs! For the most part, I want what most everyone else wants. I want to know that I am loved and I want to know that I matter. I think I’m doing okay so far.
Now…I wonder where I left that list…