What It’s Like To Be Married To a Police Officer (and How To Survive It!): Part 4. You Will Get Mad.

A guy who wears Kevlar and carries multiple weapons on a daily basis is still a guy.  Some things hold true no matter who you are married to!

You Will Get Mad.  You will get mad at that person you love, you will get mad at the people they work with, and you will get mad at the department they work for.  You will get mad when you feel like you always come last, you will get mad when you feel like they aren’t being treated fairly, and you will get mad when people make nasty comments about the police on the internet.  You will get mad for all kinds of other reasons.

And then you will get over it.  You have to.  There is no other way to stay sane!!  Remember why you fell in love with your spouse in the first place, why you agreed to marry them, and why you are proud of what they do.    If you feel like they aren’t treated fairly at work, let them know that you still think they are amazing.  Sometimes they just need to vent.  My husband would tell me about someone who he was upset with and I automatically got upset with that person too.  In the meantime, he got over it and I was still angry.  I finally realized that I couldn’t change those people and they weren’t worth being mad at for more than a minute or two.  Not to say that I actively seek those people out (or even trust them that much)…just that I won’t waste my time worrying about them.

People are always going to have opinions about everything and at least half of them are probably going to be negative.  I used to take it very personally when I would read nasty online comments (occasionally, I still do), but I’m learning to let go of that.  Getting angry at a stranger spewing garbage on the internet hurt me a lot worse than it did them.  I just try to remind myself that some people get a kick out of hurting others and we should all pity a person who has enough time on their hands to be so deliberately vicious.

There are always going to be times when you feel like you come last.  It’s not a good feeling, but if you are an adult, you should realize that life can’t always be about you anyway.  It can’t always be about any one person.  Sometimes your spouse will have to come last.  Sometimes your other family members will have to come last.  Sometimes your friends will have to come last.  I know it’s easy to say that you are always the one who has to suffer, but it probably just seems that way.  The best way to fix it is to tell your spouse how you feel.  If you are dedicated to your marriage (regardless of what profession either of you are in), it’s best to know that you have to compromise to make it successful.  Marriage is not all sunshine and rainbows.  It is a lot of hard work and sometimes you will get mad at one another.  You can use that as an excuse to quit or as an excuse to kiss and make-up!

A little angry, maybe?

 

Click for Part 5…

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