How To Deal When You Just Don’t Think You Can

Life is hard sometimes.  I totally get it.  And it usually seems to hit you right between the eyes just when you think things might go smoothly for a change.  There are times when you just don’t know how you can possibly deal with anything else.  It’s not unusual.

Maybe you lost someone, maybe your job isn’t going well, maybe you’re tired of all the bad attitudes in the world, maybe you’re just tired…I totally get that too.  Sometimes I think I can’t handle even “one more thing.” I know I’m not the only one either.  But when that one more thing comes my way, I at least try to step up and deal with.  And even though I know there is always someone worse off than me, some days are just harder than others.

Today was one of those days.  My oldest son moved out last fall, so we’ve had months without him to entertain us.  My middle child got called in to work on his day off.  My baby girl left with her dad this morning to be a junior counselor at a children’s camp.  All of the sudden, it’s too quiet here and I can only stand so much of the quiet.  Even though my mind technically knows that I have more people in my life than just my children, as well as hobbies and work, my heart said, “This is going to be your life in a few more years.  You’re going to be utterly alone.”  I find that to be a devastating thought.  Stupid heart.

So can you imagine what I did?  Yes.  I cried.  Then I cried some more.  Then I ran an errand.  And I cried.  Then I said, “enough.”

I adopted a Kimmy Schmidt mentality.  Have you seen that show?  It’s one of those that is just so goofy that it manages to be funny.  She has a saying about being able to “stand anything for 10 seconds.”  As a matter of fact, we adopted that for the last super stressful couple of weeks of school this year.  I started sending Spizzie text messages at lunch time that said, “10 seconds Kimmy Schmidt.”  Now we say it whenever we have to do something that we don’t really want to!

Anyway, I decided to just get up and do one thing.  And then another.  And another.  Honestly, I feel better.  I can only pity myself for so long.

Here’s what I did:

Cried.  Deleted emails.  Cried some more.  Got out my Bible.  Cried.  Read some scripture. (I can usually find something comforting, but sadly that wasn’t the case today.) Cried again.  Cleaned one window.  Loaded the washing machine.  Found some items to go in my yard sale.  Shredded 20 papers.  Sent a text.  Did more laundry.  Shredded more papers.  Worked out.  Wrote a blog post.

Somewhere in the middle of all that, I finally stopped crying.  There are no promises that I won’t have another good one before bed time, but I don’t feel nearly as blue as I did earlier today, so there’s hope!

If you are having a bad day and you just don’t think you can deal with it, here are a few tips:

• Have a good cry.  Crying can be cleansing.  I really like to cry in the shower, because I can pretend my tears are my troubles going down the drain.  However, I seem to wind up crying in the car a lot.  I don’t mean to and it’s probably a little dangerous and distracting when you’re driving.  Maybe keep car crying down to a minimum.
• Write it down.  Sometimes it helps to get it out and writing is a great outlet.  Maybe you can analyze why you feel that way if you go back and read it later.  Or you can do like me and make it a blog post.
• Talk to someone.  Call someone up.  Visit a friend.  Or find a counselor or therapist.  I really intend to visit a counselor very soon.  I think it would be great to talk to someone who doesn’t know enough about me to have an opinion.  Maybe just someone who can listen and make suggestions.
• Get up and do something.  Even the smallest action counts.  Don’t just sit there and wallow in it forever.  Clean something.  Make something.  Exercise.  Read.  Make a phone call.  Watch funny videos.  Go somewhere.  Set a timer and do something (anything) besides cry and be sad for a small amount of time…even if it’s just for 10 seconds at a time.  Remember you aren’t alone.  You are strong.  We can do this.  : )